Decisions, Decisions -

I started this blog strictly to follow along with my pregnancy... GROWING a peanut. Well, guess what. I GREW a peanut. My little peanut is, right now, laying on my chest sleeping like the perfect little angel he is.

Several people have asked me lately if I am going to keep up with the baby blog. After attempting to sit down and blog MANY times since Buggie was born, I decided the answer is: No. I will not keep this blog going. I am going to return to: http://www.erinandcullen.blogspot.com/; All the family blogging will be there. Our little peanut is a part of us now, so, he does not need his own little blog.

I will leave you with this cute picture, and say Adios Blog Readers. Check the family blog from now on.

Meet Peanut -

I posted a blog, titled Meet Peanut on October 2nd. This blog posted the first picture of what would be Mr. Noah Mills.

Today, I spent my day holding our 24 hour old baby. He is a perfect little, Godly created miracle. He has ten (long) beautiful fingers, and ten (LONG) beautiful toes (that can really pinch you). He has a perfect button nose (that flares). He makes the cutest, most adorable, perfect little baby I could have ever asked for.

Here is a picture from his first hours. I will regularly post pictures (duh.)
Next up, the delivery story. What a delight (and I am not being facetious).

Update (8:10am)

Epidural is in, can't feel my feet, starving. Life is good. (This is Cullen typing by the way). It's going much better than I thought it would. Then again, we haven't started pushing. Stay tuned........

I'm Having A Baby!

As promised... I will keep it as updated as possible.


My water broke. I am in the hospital. I am having a baby!!!!!! Cullen and I are here, at Kings Daughter's hospital. Room 320 has become my resting place for the next several days. Hooray. I am so excited.

I will keep this as up-to-date as possible!!!

Stats at "38" Weeks

Hello All. Wow, this blog entry is a little bittersweet to write. It is my last stats blog entry. It is one of the final blog posts with out a baby. This time next week, God (and King's Daughters Hospital) permitting, I will have a baby boy resting on my chest!!

Here are the stats from this week's appointment:
Fetal Age: 37 Weeks, 5 Days.
Total Weight Gained: 24.5 Pounds. Yes you read that right. I have LOST 1.5 pounds. If you are wondering, NO, I have not stopped eating. No I have not changed my eating habits. Still eating as though I was an professional Offensive Lineman (ala Michael Oher).
What's the tummy measuring: Unsure. She measured, but didn't share her results with me.
Dilation: 3.5 cm. (okay.... at least we aren't working backwards anymore.)
Effacing: Somewhere between 80 - 90% She (the Doctor) says this is going to make L&D super easy. JACKPOT.

Update on Inducing: It's official. I will be induced at 5:00 a.m. next Tuesday morning. We will go in and start pitocen EARLY, break my water at 8:00 a.m. and HOPE to have the baby here by lunch time (doctor's time frame....). Doctor says, worst case scenario - baby will be here by 3:00 or 4:00 p.m. Easy, easy... right?

I promise, for those who are following, to update the blog or facebook throughout the day. Many of you have asked me to do so. I promise I will.

Here is to a happy last child-free weekend.

Let's end with a prayer:
Dear Lord: Thank you for this wonderful miracle. Thank you for the easy pregnancy. I am putting all my faith in you to be with me through this last week. Grace me with a relatively easy delivery. Be with Noah as he enters this world. I ask all of this in your name. Amen.

Stats at "37" Weeks

Here are this weeks numbers: Some I am quite pleased with...Others could be different, and I would be very happy.

Fetal Age: 36 weeks, 4 days. (I lied last week.... I somehow misplaced a week of pregnancy. I was only 35weeks and 4 days. That was a bummer to realize!)
Total Weight Gained: 26 pounds. Yes, baby had a growth spurt, and I somehow managed to gain three pounds. (Last night for dinner we had turkey burgers, broccoli and rice with pine nuts...here is to NOT gaining anymore weight. Thank you Carol, for dinner!)
What's the tummy measuring: 37.5 cm. Notice the change from last week?? HUGE.
Dilation: I am a 3 now...not 4 cm. That is okay. It happens. It is very common.
Station: Somewhere just under a -2. Last week when she checked me, she said "I can feel the baby's head, no problems. But, the baby is still able to squirm around, and he moved up when I press on him." This week was a different story. She was still able to touch him with no problems; however, he wasn't able to move back up at all. He stayed in position. Which means what?? He is in position - ready to meet Mommy and Daddy.
Effacing: STILL 50%. No biggie. This will come with time.

GREAT NEWS: We set an induction date. If Little Boy doesn't make his own grand entrance, we will have him here May 18th. At my next appointment on May 11th, we will decide if I am going to go in on Monday, May 17th evening or early on Tuesday, May 18th Morning. Yea for the little boy getting ready to be here.

I got very nervous at this appointment. Cullen got very excited... what a role reversal!

Stats at 36 Weeks

My dear friend Danielle was so good about keeping "stats" during pregnancy - especially near the end. I loved reading her stats, and thought through the rest of pregnancy, I would do the same. I went to the doctor Monday; (the first of the weekly appointments.) As of Monday, here is how my stats break down:

Fetal Age: 36 Weeks, 4 days
Total Weight Gained: 23 pounds.
What's the tummy measuring: 35 cm (for those who don't know what this means: it is how big your tummy gets lengthwise during pregnancy. It roughly correlates to the fetal week you are in.) A side note: Until week 33, I ALWAYS measured exactly to the week I was in; however, week 33's appointment, I measured at a 34. Week 36 appointment (this week) I measured at a 35; so... Doctor seems to think baby is pretty close to being done in the growing department.
Dilated: You got! 4 CM
Station: -2
Effacing: 50%

I will update stats next week!! Baby is getting so close!

Turkey's Ready

Nine months into pregnancy leaves you feeling many different emotions. Anxious. Nervous. Excited. Uncomfortable. Thrilled. Hungry....

...Speaking of hungry - the turkey is ready. My belly button, which has spent the vast majority of the last 3 months flat has finally popped. I have an outie. I wish, like a turkey, that when the knob popped out the fully cooked bird, it meant the baby is ready to be here. I'm certainly ready for him to be here. Cullen..... is ready, but has definite daddy worries.

I asked him tonight at dinner what he is most nervous about (**mentioning he couldn't answer with: A) everything, or B) Noah not picking up on how to do a 3-step drop when it is time). His answer: I am worried about not knowing how to do anything. Awee. My response: "Cullen, you are going to be a natural. And if you aren't, we'll learn how to be parents together."

I know I have said this before, but I am so excited to, not only, share becoming a parent with Cullen but BEING a parent with Cullen.

FOUR WEEKS, MR. NOAH. FOUR WEEKS.

Baby Checklist....

From what I hear and from what I have read, pregnant women tend to be emotional. NOT TRUE. I refuse to believe it.

This last weekend, Cullen and I spent Saturday and Sunday getting life ready for Baby Noah. We had a checklist....

1. Put together the Crib (not the actual crib... but the bedding.)
2. Find and Buy shelves for the baby's room.
3. Put together the stroller.
3b. Make sure we read the manual so we know how to not only safely use the stroller, but also know how to properly install the car seat in the car.
4. Put diaper genie together and figure out how that works.
5. Find recliner, rocking chair, or glider for Noah's room.

Okay...that list is manageable... right?? WRONG. Let's see; We....

1. Put the bedding into the crib - realized it wasn't exactly fitting and had to make adjustments. Okay. Frustrating, but DONE.
2. Find shelves - let's come back to that one.
3. Put stroller together... DONE. Easy and done.
3b. Read stroller and car seat manual... DONE and DONE.
4. Put diaper genie together and figure out how it works... Done.
5. Find recliner, rocking chair or glider - kind of done.

We started running errands around 2:00 p.m. We went to visit several furniture stores looking at all different types of seats for Noah's room. We found NOTHING we were in love with. We recently found a white rocking chair that we LOVE - so, we wanted to do our comparisons prior to just buying it. (Look at us, being so responsible!!) We ended up buying nothing. We will get to it this weekend or next. AND, we will end up buying the rocking chair. I am excited about this. There is just something sweet and innocent about a rocking chair. Especially when it has an ever so quiet creaky noise. Makes me tired thinking about it. As nice as it was to reach this decision - it took many stores and a TON of frustration.

Shelves. OH the shelves. I knew I wanted to put shelves up in Noah's room. I wanted shelves on the walls so I could put nick-knacks on the wall. I wanted to put up picture frames that couldn't hang. AND, I still wanted space on his dressers. Prior to going shopping for shelving, I knew I wanted to go to Target, Walmart, Home Depot, or Hobby Lobby to find these shelves. It was only after we went to Target, Walmart, Home Depot, Hobby Lobby ...then a movie because it was raining... did I find myself in absolute tears. Yes, big crocodile tears. I tried to hide them from Cullen. I tried so hard... he knows me too well.

So, maybe it is true what they say... pregnant women are emotional. I knew why I was crying. I didn't want Cullen to know why I was crying. I didn't want him to think I had completely come off my hinges. I was crying because if we didn't get shelves today, get them hung TONIGHT, we were going to have a baby with an empty room. He is going to come home from the hospital with NOTHING in his room, except cluttered dresser tops. While I realize NOW that I was being so irrational in thought, I couldn't help it then. It was all I could think of. So, Cullen (who was willing to do anything to get this basket case of a wife to calm down) suggested we go to Lowe's and see what kind of shelves they have to offer.

Thank goodness for everyone... Not only did they have shelves galore, they had the best prices of anything we had seen all day!! We bought 5 total shelves, and got all of them installed Saturday night. DONE. And, just like that, I am okay, emotionally stable and feel comfortable that Noah will be pleased with his room.

We had an extremely successful weekend. We managed to check off everything off our weekend checklist. Cullen survived his first (and hopefully only) pregnant-wife-meltdown. He was so good under the hail-storm of Erin Mills. He is such a great husband. He is going to make such a great daddy.

Now... let's revise the checklist, and get the next many things checked off. The beginning of this list looks like:

1. Pack hospital bag (which includes buying maternity bras, granny panties, chap stick, matching pajamas, shower shoes/flip flops, and a huge chocolate bar.)
2. Buy the white rocking chair that will be the perfect match to our shelves.
3. Buy newborn diapers. Right now, we have 3...

I Need Mommy Help.

Each week from the baby website Baby Center, I get an email that updates me on what Peanut is doing this week as well as a checklist of things I can do or work on in order to prepare for his arrival.

This week, one of the things on the checklist says, "pack your hospital bag". It gave me suggestions on what to pack. However, is there anything that you would recommend as "Must Haves" in the hospital bag???

Thanks for the help!!

For Anyone Keeping Tabs....

As it turns out, my lucky-streak only lasted 24 hours. I woke up every 2 hours last night... no more sleeping through the night. Bummer.

Surprisingly, I am well rested today. Not sure how that is possible - but I am.


Want some fun news: I officially start my maternity leave one month from yesterday. HOORAY!... That was a scary realization, but, we are super excited to have Baby Noah on the outside, with us. I can't wait to hold him in my arms. I can't wait for Cullen to hold him in his arms - and not be able to the baby's parents, "Nah, I am good." when the ask if Cullen wants to hold the baby... :)

I can't wait for my parents to meet their 3rd grand baby and I am so excited for Billy and Carol to hold their FIRST grand baby. These are all things that will happen in just about a month.

See you soon, Little Peanut.

Mini Milestone...

Last night, I went to bed and fell asleep before the end of my beloved Chelsea Handler. 10:30; As usual, I woke up to go potty in the middle of the night and looked at the clock. 5:34 A.M.! Normally, I would be so angry that I woke up 30 minutes before I would get up..but, I SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT. I, Erin Mills, who never sleeps more than 2-3 hours in one span slept for the ENTIRE NIGHT. It was a pure slice of Heaven...a slice Heaven that I really needed. I've heard that waking up every 2-3 hours is God's way of preparing your body to get up with the baby... but wowee. It was so nice to sleep all night long.

I love you Baby Noah; can we do this again tonight??

So Many Updates.

So much has happened in the world of baby since I last blogged. Since the last post....

I have had two BEAUTIFUL SHOWERS. The first one was March 27th, a joint shower with my dear friend Chyla who is expecting her little biscuit mid-June. This was hosted by a friend of ours, and it was OUTSTANDING. Here are a few pictures:

Noah's Diaper Cake, made by our hostess, Terra.

A close up of his name on the diaper cake.

This is the momma's holding the soon-to-be-mommas, hugging our hostess.

Finally, a picture of the honorees. We were treated like royalty, not only by the hostesses, but our guests too. Noah and Landry were given so many sweet gifts. Now, we just need the babies to use the gifts!!

The second shower was this last weekend, April 11th. This shower was hosted by three of my favorite girlfriends, at my parents house. It was a fabulous shower, and Dr. Seuss themed... I loved it!!! Here are a few pictures from the big event!Some of the incredible decorations. Thank you Lauren; I couldn't have been more impressed.

This is the AMAZING diaper cake made by Ashley. Isn't it so special. I am kinda sad to take it apart...but, what sounds better, an intact diaper cake or a diaperless baby????

Here is a picture of my wonderful hostesses and myself. I promise I don't look this big in person...and let it be known, I will not wear this dress again. I look like a grey HOUSE!

Finally, this is a picture of Aunt Lauren holding little Peanut. Although there is not a picture of the spread of delicious food, you should have seen the enormous amounts of food. Sarah, you outdid yourself. I had so many people compliment the chicken salad and food.

Again, Cullen and I were so overwhelmed by the amount of love and generosity people showed through gifts and presence at the shower. I was blown away - truly.

Besides showers, I have an appointment in about 9 days...then we are down to ONE WEEK APPOINTMENTS. Really, we are down to ONE WEEK APPOINTMENTS. We are starting to check the cervix, and all that other business. At my last appointment, the doctor told me (after waiting 2 HOURS) that I had only gained 1/2 A POUND. You got. Peanut gained 1.5 pounds, I gained .5 pounds.... which in my world makes it seem as though I have lost weight. :) JACKPOT.

I guess that is it for now. I didn't take a picture last week. Thursday just kind of escaped me. So, this Thursday, we will have have my 34 week picture. I will share soon.

A Funny Moment -

Millie and I were sitting on the couch yesterday afternoon. Usually she lays curled up in my legs (because, let's face it, she hates being touched or pet unless it is on her terms.); However, yesterday, she was having a rare moment where she wanted to be sweet and cuddle. She crawled onto my tummy, and rested her head on my chest. I pet her behind her ears, and she was quickly asleep and in puppy-dog Heaven.

...All of the sudden, Baby Noah was awake, or tired of being squished by Millie-girl. He kicked harder than I have been kicked before, and Millie BOLTED OFF OF ME so fast, I am not even sure she took one step between me and the floor. She looked up at me from the floor as if she was saying "what the heck just happened??"

She avoided me for the remainder of the evening.

It appears as though Noah is winning the domination battle between the Mills' "children" and he isn't even here yet.

Bittersweet Bluebonnets

This weekend, Cullen and I drove to Fredericksburg to spend Easter with my Mother's side of the family. As we were driving through the Hill Country, I quietly and peacefully looked at all of God's beauty. The Bluebonnets were abundant; the Indian Paintbrush were plentiful. I thought to myself, Gosh, this is the last time we will drive to Fredericksburg just the two of us. This one of the last road trips we will make just the two of us.

And.... this time next year, we will have an 11 month old beautiful baby boy who can crawl (or walk) through his own set of Bluebonnets (with mommy snapping pictures the whole time)!!! This makes me happy and so very nervous.

Lately, in the last week or so, I have become increasingly more aware of the fact that I am going to be a mommy in 6 weeks. Cullen is going to be a daddy in 6 weeks. "WE" are no longer a we; we are three. Can I do it? Am I ready to be a mommy? Do I have what it takes to be a mommy?? These are all questions that I think about regularly. I hear this is quite normal and common.

I know I am ready to meet him. I am ready to hold our little Noah Thomas. I am ready to see Cullen transform from a wonderful husband to a fabulous husband and father.

Bittersweet is the best way to describe my always evolving feelings around being a mommy. In these next several weeks, I will become more and more excited - you know what is the better part of this excitement??? I have Cullen, my parents, his parents, and all my friends helping and supporting this new endeavor in our lives.

Doctor Appointment Updates

Well, tomorrow marks the 6-7 week countdown. Hooray! Scary. Excited. Anxious. Nervous. Overwhelmed. Ecstatic. These are the emotions I feel daily.

I am down to two week appointments. I have one next week, and in two more weeks...THEN, it is down to one week appointments. Do you know how close that makes me to holding my little baby??!!

Here are two little pregnancy related stories: Mr. Uncomfortable Moved In.

Number 2: (Cullen will get mad I am calling him out, but....) This week, Cullen woke up early to cook me breakfast before work. This is the first time on a week day that he has done this. He did it because he remembers how nice it was when he was growing up and his mom always had breakfast ready before school. He said, with a baby one the way, he needs to get in the habit of cooking breakfast in the morning for his baby. How sweet is that??!?!

Nesting.

Nesting, defined as the basic and uncontrollable urge to clean your house, and generally go crazy doing all sorts of things that will prepare the 'nest' for the new member of the family. I GOT IT. I AM DEFINITELY NESTING.

Is it too soon to be nesting?? Everything I have read says this is a sure sign that labor is just around the corner. I hope by "just around the corner" the experts mean 7-8 weeks away. Today, I woke up feeling the need to clean. I, who would almost always rather sleep in, and cuddle with my Love Bug and the puppies, got up, cleaned around the kitchen while Cullen cooked breakfast, emptied the dish washer, helped Cullen clean up breakfast, ran the dishwasher, emptied the dishwasher, did laundry, bleached the counter tops in the kitchen, washed all of Noah's clothes, burp clothes, bibs, wash clothes, socks, everything. I wiped down all of his furniture, cleaned up and sterilized his bottles. I rearranged a cabinet in the kitchen just for Noah's bottles, formula, dishes, etc.

We went out of the house for a while today. When we got back it was back to cleaning. After dinner, I helped clean the kitchen, wiping down and disinfecting the kitchen table for the third time today. I put more of Noah's stuff away. I rearranged the drawers in his room because I was have drawer-stocking remorse.

Sheesh. I don't have the energy to keep up this pace for the next 7-8 weeks. Let's hope this nesting was a weekend phase, and leaves me alone for a few weeks. Otherwise, Cullen is in for a real shock...a wife that cleans all the time. He may need therapy. ;)

31 Weeks Down, 9 Weeks To Go!!

I thought I would never be in the single digit (weekly) countdown. We are here!! Noah will be here in less than 9 weeks. LESS THAN 9 WEEKS. And, because I am a super planner, I have over-planned and over-booked the weekends to make these next nine weeks FLY by. I have heard that these last weeks are excruciatingly s...l....o...w!!

Here are some things on our calendar before Baby Boy arrives:

• Baby shower this weekend! {It is a join shower with my great friend Chyla Jane, who is due in June!} It is hosted by a mutual friend, Terra. I can't wait to see everyone.
• Easter next weekend; Seeing both sides of the family. One of the things I am looking MOST forward to, is seeing Dustin and Ashley, cousin's on Cullen's mom's side of the family. They are our age, and expecting a little Smalley around Thanksgiving!!
• Baby Shower for me the following weekend in Austin!! It is being hosted by three of my MOST favorite girlfriends ever. I am so excited for this shower; most of my mom's sisters are coming, and anything is better when they are around!!
• CHELSEA HANDLER THE FOLLOWING WEEKEND with my girlfriend Lauren! Short of the Restless Leg Syndrome that I know will commence about 3 minutes after I sit down for the show, this is something I am SO LOOKING FORWARD TO.
• The last weekend in April, {which puts us one month out from Noah's arrival} is the wedding of Chelsea Conrad and Jacob Anderson!!

These are just some of the events on the calendar. May is AS BUSY as April. The only difference between April and May, is May ends with the arrival of Mr. Noah Thomas!!

Dearest Baby Boy: You are getting so big. You roll around in my tummy like a wild man. You have stopped kicking me, and starting stretching your limbs right into my ribs and bladder!! I love you so much, and love watching you move my tummy like you are a little alien. Your daddy has started to hold my tummy and feel you move around more. He talks about you everyday. I can't wait to meet you. In 9 short (excruciatingly long) weeks, I will hold you in my arms and be the happiest mommy in the whole wide world!!

Noah in 3D

This morning was our 3D/4D ultrasound to see Noah. I was as nervous as I was excited. I have always had my reservations about 3D ultrasounds; let's be honest, the pictures you get from these usually make your "cute baby" look like a disaster. And, rightfully so, your fetus is still growing.

I was also internally struggling because at our 20 week ultrasound, I have a picture of Noah that is his ONLY face shot, and he is scary. For the last 10 weeks, I have felt like the world's worst mommy...How can I think my baby is ugly, and I haven't even met him?? Well, it turns out Noah just needed more time to grow into those skeletal bones. He needed time to get fat, and fat did he get!!

Our appointment started in 2D. Prior to our tech turning out the ultrasound machine, I asked her two things: 1) I would like to confirm the sex again.... God forbid, our little Noah really be a Noatte. It turns out that he is still a boy, thank GOD; The appointment before ours thought they were having a girl, and it turns out they were wrong... they are having a boy. I said an extra prayer that that wouldn't happen two appointments in a row! And 2) I told her that I am really wanting a profile picture of Noah. All mommies have a profile picture of their little Peanut from early ultrasounds...not me. He usually covers his face and goes to sleep. She said she would try. Little Noah was not only cooperative, but, it was the first picture he gave us. He was laying just right, where when our tech turned out the machine, we saw his little spine, and boom, our profile picture of Noah. Not only did we get an outstanding profile picture, he was kissing mommy's tummy!!

Our Tech regularly switched between 2D and 3D to get the best pictures. Here are the cutest ones, with descriptions:

Look at how defined these pictures can be; Two little eyes, a perfect little nose, and pouty little lips. The flat pancake looking disk next to Noah's chin is my placenta. It is in all the pictures; apparently, my placenta is on the top of my uterus - which is no big deal for the pregnancy, it just made pictures slightly more difficult to take. No matter what, he is cute to me!!! Look at this cute little button nose and that sweet little half smile.
Here, Noah is opening and closing his mouth. He did this quite a bit through the appointment.
At one point, he streteched real big. It was weird to feel this on the outside, and see it on the inside. She captured a picture just as he was stretching his neck. I know it goes without saying, but he is such a little human already. (Duh!) He does things that little humans do. It is so weird to think that over the last 30 weeks, Noah has gone from nothing to this adorable little something.
In this little picture, Noah is sticking out his tounge. I know it is hard to see. If it helps, his fat bottom lip isn't a lip, that is his tounge. It was much easier to see this in the actual video.

This is our little Noah pouting. Yes, it did come coincidentally when our tech was agitating my tummy to get him to move, but, he did start pouting. Isn't that the CUTEST little pout you have ever seen??

This is a picture of Noah sleeping; just being adorable and peaceful!

I am madly in love with my little boy... more than I was before, and I didn't think that was possible. We were able to see his beautiful features, cute little feet, CHUBBY little cheeks (sorry Noah - that is genetics.), and perfect little profile. He yawned; He smiled; he moved and kicked; he pat his face, sucked his thumb grabbed his feet. He was PERFECT. I could have watched him all day.... In fact, I have. I have watched his little 4D video twice today already. I am not positive I won't watch it again.

I love you little Noah. Thank you for cooperating, and thank you for being so very perfect. I can't wait to meet you; and I am so happy that it is only 9 weeks away!

The Anticipation Is Killing Me

Killing me, I tell you!! Tomorrow morning, Noah, Cullen and I have a 3D4D ultrasound scheduled!! This is one whole hour of looking at our little baby. We are not measuring skull size, or counting kidneys... we know he is a healthy baby - now we just get to stare at him!!

I will post pictures ASAP! Do not be worried if he looks like an alien... I am expecting him to, a little!!!!!

30 Week Belly Pic.

I took the weekly Belly Pic tonight. I decided to only share the clothed ones from here forward. If you are interested in seeing THE belly, email me: mills.erin@yahoo.com, otherwise, enjoy!

Today marks 30 weeks!! I feel like I can really start counting down this pregnancy. 30 weeks. 30 WHOLE weeks. Has it really been 30 weeks??? I am 3/4ths of the way through this marathon. I woke up so happy this morning. Noah was kicking me, telling me, "Good Morning, Mommy." I rubbed my tummy back, and said, "Good Morning, Baby Boy. I can't wait to meet you!"

Thirty whole weeks of growing, developing and growing. 30 whole weeks of becoming a little human.

Here are a couple links to what is going on inside my womb this week:

• The Stork
• About Pregnancy
• Baby Center

Oh, I am so happy to be 30 weeks pregnant. 30 whole weeks pregnant. Let the countdown to Little Noah's delivery begin!

Dear Noah:

{Yes, this is my second blog entry this morning, and yes, it is 5:34 a.m. I woke up thinking about my baby. I woke up thinking about 1000 different things. I have been doing this a ton lately. I have been texting myself small notes in the middle of the night so I don't forget things AND so I can go back to sleep.}

I have wanted to write a letter to Noah for quite some time. I want him to know how blessed I feel already that God trusts me enough to be his mommy. Cullen and I feel so special to having not only made his this life, but now get to raise him in a loving, God fearing home.

One of my favorite things right now is feeling him move. Yes, Noah has been moving and kicking for a while. I remember feeling him for the first time. I remember crying the first time Cullen felt Noah kick. It was our first moment of feeling like a family.

Now, he moves around; he is big enough to feel on both sides of my tummy. He rolls around and pushes on my tummy. I feel hard knots on the outside of my tummy; baby parts...as if I am growing an alien. Nothing makes me smile bigger than to hold my tummy and watch/feel my baby move around.

When people ask me what my favorite part of pregnancy is, I will forever tell them, "feeling Noah move around." Cullen thinks it is so weird to feel him squirm, as most men do. I can't wait until Cullen gets to hold his son, and Noah can squirm on Cullen instead of my inside my tummy. I think that will be my favorite moment, post pregnancy.

I will start working on that letter to Noah... I hope I can get to it - not because I will not find time, but because I am not sure I can find the words to tell him exactly how I feel about him joining our family. He already personifies perfection, and I haven't even met him.

A room for Baby

Well, we are ten weeks away from our little Noah being here. A common question I have been asked recently is, "How is the nursery? Is it ready for Noah to come home?" The bold answer. NOPE. We ordered our furniture a while back; it's been sitting in our garage ready for the baby's room for a couple weeks.

Finally, we decided it was time. This weekend, we spent a wild and crazy Saturday night taking apart our office and putting together Baby Peanut's room. Our furniture came fully assembled (except our crib - which was SIMPLE to put together), which made me feel so great about the quality of furniture. It also made it so easy to figure out where we wanted our furniture in the room.

I can comfortably, confidently say, we have a room for Noah to come home. We have a few outfits for him to wear, and a blanket for him to lay on. However, we have a LONG way to go before we are truly READY for baby Noah to come home.

This week is spring break. My goal this week is to make our home more baby friendly, more ready for us to bring baby home. Let's see how far I can get on our to-do list...

Well, Well, Well.....

The verdict is in..... NO GESTATIONAL DIABETES FOR THIS LITTLE MOMMA. Although, she did say that I am borderline, which means I need to watch what I eat, but not be OVERLY concerned with every calorie/carbohydrate that goes into my body. AND, I need to start exercising more. I can handle that!! All in all, an excellent report.

I start two week appointments now. FANTASTIC. In my mind, that means we are down to the home stretch of Baby Noah's extended stay in Mommy's Tummy Hotel. Although, he has been a wonderful little guest: Doesn't eat too much, doesn't ever make a mess, and doesn't keep me up at all hours of the night! :)

Gestational Diabetes Update.

I go to the OB today at 4:00 - It is the first for 2 week appointments, (which marks the downhill slope of pregnancy!!) and I get my update about my Gestational Diabetes. Let's pray Dr. F tells me that I just had a bad first test, not full blow gestational diabetes.

I went for my second round of tests on Monday for Gestational Diabetes. This test was a three hour tolerance test. It was awful. I look like a heroin user. I have three bruises on each arm from blood draws. I only cried once, never broke out into anxious sweats.... nor did I ever feel the urge to faint. Looks like I am improving on my Aichmophobia (a fear of needles).

Results will be posted soon - until then, say a little prayer that this little Momma does NOT have Gestational Diabetes!! :)

Gestational Diabetes....

Dear Gestational Diabetes: Oh, how I loathe you. Sincerely, Erin Mills.

Tuesday, I had my gestational diabetes test. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Gestational Diabetes, it is defined here: DEFINITION. I didn't study much - as I didn't think it was a test to study for... turns out, I should've. BECAUSE I FAILED. I got the call today from the doctor's office saying my blood sugar numbers were out of the normal blood sugar levels significantly. This meant two things from here forward: A) I have to take another ridiculous glucose test to take on Monday. The first one took one hour, one 8 ounce drink, and one needle prick. The second one will take 4 hours, one 8 ounce drink, fasting for one day before, specific dieting for three days before, and FOUR NEEDLE PRICKS. I could die. and B) NO SWEETS, NO SIMPLE SUGARS THROUGH THE END OF PREGNANCY! I could die.

There is one pro to gestational diabetes, due to the side effects of gestational diabetes (usually newborns run on the bigger side of normal) my doctor schedules early inductions or c-sections (if necessary) because she is cautious about the size and safety of delivery for both Noah and myself.

This has caused me a lot of unnecessary annoyance today. However, My pregnancy has been a CAKE WALK thus far. So, if this is the worst thing that happens to me, he is so worth it.

Lessons From Mothers

My mother always taught me, "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all." Let me tell you how much more true this is, towards pregnant women. {A side note: I have had the BEST pregnancy. I have had zero incidents of morning sickness, zero stretch marks, zero pain...100% best pregnancy, hands down.}

Yesterday, I went to the mall to look for maternity dresses for several events I have coming up. I got side tracked and ended up shopping for my little Peanut instead. A nice man was in line behind me, checking out at The Children's Store and he said to me, "How far along are you?" I kindly responded, "7 months." He said, "Wow, you are so little to 7 months pregnant." I smiled, thanked him and walked away feeling even more great about being pregnant. HOWEVER, later that afternoon, as Cullen and I went to the mall to shop for these dresses, a mid-50s aged cashier and I had an exchange of words at Dillard's. Our conversation went something like this:

Rude Lady: How far along are you?
Me: {With a smile} 7 months!
Rude Lady: Oh. My daughter is 8 months pregnant....{pause, deep breath in from her as she looks me up and down}. But, don't worry, she is really petite.
Me: {Happy smile turns to "Just-be-pleasant-smile"} Thanks.

Our exchange of words ended there, with me feeling like a lard-ass because her daughter is petite.

Since I was a little girl, my parents taught me, "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all." This is especially true towards pregnant women. So, world, PLEASE THINK TWICE before you say something to me for the next three months. You might catch me on a day where I just can't be pleasant; and, I would just hate to be ugly to anyone so close to crossing the pregnancy finish line.

Here is my 27 week pregnant belly. I refuse to post these pictures on Facebook. So, if you are one of the few who read this blog, and have asked for a belly pic update - this one's for you:

Third Trimester!!!

Today is a BIG day. Today marks the beginning of my third trimester. TWO whole trimesters down, ONE long, expanding trimester to go. I hear this is the longest trimester... however, I think the 1st trimester was pretty darn long. Let's just pray for the best.

Baby Noah, you have just a few more months inside my tummy. Be good to your mommy. Don't make me grow TOO TOO much. I love you, and we can't wait to meet you!

26 Weeks, 5 Days

Often, conversations with me and strangers are very similar and short. Often it is questions. "How far along are you?" Do you know what you are having? Oh how sweet, do you have a name picked out? How has pregnancy been??"

Today, I am 26 weeks and 5 days pregnant. Up till now, it has been so...not what I was expecting. I was talking with Cullen the other day, and I asked him if this is how he thought I was going to be while pregnant. Did he think I would gain a TON of weight, be sick all the time, be moody and temperamental? We agreed. We both thought I would be not as well off as I am. I am so thankful how easy this pregnancy has been. For him and I both.

I was reading online about pregnancy in the 27th week via Baby Center, Just Mommies and a few other websites. Here is a short list of things I have to look forward to. Let me share a few tid-bits:

• I should feel my baby move regularly. This is due to hiccups and acrobatic workouts. Fact. Noah moves more and more daily. Not only does he move, I swear he is practicing drills inside my tummy. Sunday morning, Noah was kicking so hard, Cullen moved his hand off my "bump" because it got so weird (for him, not me).
• 27 weeks marks the beginning of THIRD TRIMESTER. Two down, One to go!! This is the final home stretch. Cullen and I are soooo excited to meet baby Noah. I asked him the other day at dinner what he is most excited about. Do you know what he said? "Teaching him the three-step drop." It is a football play. Yep, our first child - and that is what he is most excited about. That is Cullen for you. No mush. No gush. Just football.
• Baby Peanut weighs 2.2 pounds (on average). Wow, a two pound baby. I feel like that is so much, and it is so close to 7 or 8 pounds full term. It makes me nervous though to think it took Peanut 27 weeks to grow to 2 pounds, yet in the next 14 weeks, he will gain 5-6 more pounds!!!
• This week, I may be experiencing shortness of breath and pain in my rib cage. For me this is half way true already. Shortness of breath is kicking in for sure. And, with a growing uterus, I am finding it much more difficult to eat meals. Last night, at my JSL meeting, I found that after one SMALL slice of pizza, I could hardly breathe and didn't want any more pizza. WHAT? ME, NOT WANTING MORE PIZZA?? What has this world come to???

There are a ton more things going on this week during pregnancy. However, these were the fun ones that apply to me. You can google many others, but thankfully, the do not apply. Have a super week.

Jealousy Pains?

This weekend, our dear friends, The Durbins welcomed to this world Kylie Durbin. She weighed in at 7 pounds, 12 ounces, and she is simply perfect. Cullen and I went to visit her Saturday in the hospital and Sunday at home and oh boy, did my little Noah kick me the whole time. He kicked and kicked and kicked.... to the point where I felt he and I needed to have a brief "Mommy can play with other babies" conversation.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVED every little kick and jab, but, goodness, I think Little Noah is a little jealous! :)

Hope your weekend was great!

Welcome To The Club!

In several posts on this blog, I have talked about verbal milestones. We had the first question, "so, when are you due?" (which I was only asked once or twice), the common question, "So, can you feel him move?" (which always follows in conversation of baby talk.)

Recently, {I would say, about a week ago}, people have started to ask regularly, "so, are you having a boy or a girl?", "When are you due?" or they just offer their pregnancy stories {which I love}.

I feel like it has really put me into the "I really look pregnant" category. And, I think it officially allows me to be in the pregnant mommy club. While some would think this ticket was punched 6.5 months ago.... it really isn't. When you don't feel pregnant, and when you don't look pregnant, people don't really take you serious in the pregnant mom club unless they are pregnant or recent mommies themselves.

Yesterday, a young girl, 5th grade ish, was sitting down when we walked into a restaurant for lunch. She looked at me, and immediately stood up and said, do you want my seat? It was so kind of her. {For the record, I declined - probably because I didn't want to sit next to her dad, but....)

All that to say.... I feel like I really look pregnant. I really feel pregnant. And, I am two weeks away from my third trimester. Whoo hooo. We are on the downhill slope now.

Tonight is our second installment of Childbirth Class. Stay tuned for updates. If you are not familiar with last weeks saga go here. I am hoping this week is more comical and less uncomfortable.

Noah's First Valentine's Day!

Today was Noah's (kinda) First Valentine's Day. During church this morning, our Pastor was talking about how St. Valentine's Day came about, and love in the biblical and emotional sense. Throughout the entire time Pastor Keith was talking about love, Baby Noah was kicking me. He kicked me regularly. It seemed as though as soon as Pastor Keith was finished talking, Noah was finished kicking. Coincidence? I think not. I love you too, Baby Noah.

Happy Valentine's Day!

24.5 weeks.

Today I am 24 weeks and 5 days. (For those of you who do not translate quickly from weeks to months, that is 6 months and a week)

Many of you ask about belly pics. Since I love you all sooooo much, I thought I would share. I will share with you a clothed belly bump, and unclothed belly bump...you know, this will help be break the modestly levels down a little. :)

A Real Eye Opener

Most of my blog posts are semi-serious... wrapped with a comical or happy little bow. Let's get serious for a minute.

Cullen and I went to our first of four childbirth classes at the hospital last night. I was on the phone with my mom prior to our class and I told her, Cullen hadn't had anything to drink, and we are watching a birthing VIDEO. Yikes. I told her I would be shocked if he makes it through the video without vomiting, or wanting to vomit. She got a good laugh and knew I would have great stories to tell after class. Want the story??

Turns out, I was the weaker one. Through the video I found myself laughing at inappropriate times; I found myself weak-stomached, a bit disgusted at times and wondering if I am the only mother, who six months into pregnancy, thinks maybe this wasn't a great idea??? Yes, for a split second, I did think - Can I really do this?? It wasn't the actual Labor and Delivery that threw me for a loop. It was the idea of being completely exposed. Emotionally and Physically. I am emotionally vulnerable to this new life, to the doctors and nurses, to my husband (who I am not sure will make it through L&D) AND, new information to me, I am COMPLETELY EXPOSED. Naked. I know, I know. Most of you are thinking, "wasn't that a known fact?" NOPE. It wasn't. I thought, for some odd reason, there was a modesty shield, or cloth that was hung that separated me from "whats below." Nope. Not a chance. The sad thing is, if you know me at all, you know that I am NOT modest. Turns out, pregnancy has sure done a number on me!

Last night, the lady running the class did assure us that the hospital staff is very careful to protect your modesty until the absolutely have to expose you - that is just not something I want to see, and it is for sure something I don't want Cullen to see. Pregnancy is going to scar him enough, much less those images.

Enough of the rant. To be boldly honest, last night scared me. It made me cherish my little baby boy RIGHT NOW. I like where he is. Inside me. Covered. I am finally nervous about labor. Not the pain. The pain will be worth it. It is the emotional roller coaster that goes with it.

I am glad I have a supportive partner, friends who are going through it with me, and mothers who are there to guide me through. I have never been so thankful to have such a supportive circle.

I will leave you with my constant thought... to quote Thomas the Train, "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can."

More Kicking (Is this becoming a theme?)

Baby boy sure is an active little boy. Cullen hopes with every move, he is in my tummy practicing his "three-step-drop" for football season {in several years}. Last night, I was sitting in my chair next to Cullen, watching a movie. Noah was kicking, kicking, kicking. Just for fun, I lifted up my shirt just to seeeeee if I could see Baby boy move. Just my luck, you could. You could really see my belly kick. It was so precious...and weird. I paused the movie and had Cullen come stand behind me to watch the alien move in my tummy. As predicted, he stopped. If Noah is anything in real life like he is in the womb, I am pretty sure he is going to be a momma's boy. He will just not show off for his daddy.

On a "overall pregnancy" note: I am officially 24 weeks pregnant tonight. No morning sickness, no weirdness. This has been the best 24 weeks of my life. I feel good about myself, I feel like God has blessed me with such a little miracle to raise with the man I love with all my heart. I don't know if Noah knows how lucky he is to have a model to watch as he grows up. I will instill in him how incredible his daddy is. I would consider myself a lucky woman, if in 26 years, I can look at my son's life and see a small reflection of my husband. Here is to the next 16 weeks. I hope it is as enjoyable and as perfect as the first 24 weeks have been. 4 more weeks and we are into the 3rd trimester. It is only a downhill slope from here.

Monumental Moment!

Today was a hard day. I was on my feet way too much today...almost all day. About 1.5 inches above my left hip has been cramping. {You know that cramp that you get when you run too hard, too fast; yes, that one. The one that takes your breath away....it feels like that.} It hurt for long enough that I started to get worried. I called the 24-hour OB nurse. After explaining my symptoms and after an abundant amount of questions from her, she diagnosed the problem... a growing belly. Yep, that's it. She said it is common at this stage in pregnancy for your uterus to grow at an exponential rate. It is causing stress on my round ligaments, which is causing this pain in my side. Her prescription: a Tylenol, hot bath, and GET OFF MY FEET for the night.

After work, after the grocery store, after a phone call the nurse, after cooking dinner for Cullen, I got off my feet to eat dinner. I cringed with every swivel of my mid-section.

Just about the time I am ready to throw in the towel for the night, Noah kicks me. He kicks me so hard I smile. I grinned from ear to ear. I got up, pulled Cullen from dish duty, and I laid on the couch with Cullen's hand on my tummy....Noah stopped moving. Oh, little stinker. PLEASE MOVE FOR YOUR DADDY. Is my little boy a shy baby boy?? After a wiggle and a jiggle, I got him moving again.

Cullen felt his little boy move. Cullen felt FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, his little boy kick me. I cried. I have been waiting for this moment; patiently. I have heard it is so much more real to husbands, more enjoyable to husbands when they can feel their baby move. WELCOME TO THIS PREGNANCY, Mr. Mills.

Baby Noah has kicked regularly for the last 20 minutes. I love every little bump, kick and movement I feel.

As for that unbearable side cramp ... it is so worth it. I love you, Baby Noah.

Belly Pic.

This won't happen too often, but, this little belly of mine is growing at a RAPID speed right now...

I wanted to share {one of the VERY FEW} bare belly pictures. This was tonight; 22.5 weeks. 17.5 to go. :)

Children are so....blunt.

Yesterday, I was in the cafeteria with one of my students helping him get his lunch. While standing in line, I notice two little 2nd grade boys whispering behind me. Eventually, one taps me on the shoulder and the following conversation ensues:

Boys: "Are you fat or are you going to have a baby?"
Me: {With a smirk}, "I am going to have a baby. Can you tell?"
Boys: "Yep"

The conversation ended....About two minutes later, I feel another tap:

Boys: {With a very concerned face}, "Well, are you married??"
Me: "Yes, Mind your manners!"

Ahh, this is what I get to look forward to. :)

What's In A Name Anyway??

This is a post I have been very excited about. Since January 4th, our BIG ultrasound appointment, Cullen and I have been talking about our sweet baby boy's name. Prior to knowing if Peanut was a boy or a girl, we were locked on a girl's name and were between two or three boy's names. As it turns out, we chose a name we had only mentioned a few times.

Over the last two weeks, Cullen has "marinated" over our name. He has tried it on for size; he has written it down on paper; he has talked about our baby using his name. He even kissed my belly and said, "Goodnight, ___." I knew then it was only a matter of time!

Our decision took much thought, careful consideration, and lots of talking. Cullen gave in and let it be official...

So, world, I would like to trade-in Baby Peanut for Baby

Noah Thomas Mills!

I Got "the question!"

You know that guarded, apprehensive question women are often asked... "So, when are you due?" You are so afraid to ask a woman who might be pregnant on the slight chance she is not. I never asked women before I got pregnant (because I didn't want to be that person). Now that I am pregnant, I know that women do have that pregnancy glow that so many talk about. A newly pregnant woman puts her hands on her tummy all the time to feel her sweet baby growing inside her. Now that I am pregnant, I LOVE talking pregnancy. I wouldn't mind someone saying, "So when are you due?"

...A short tangent.... If you go back and read my blog, you will notice I do not believe in differed gratification. I want the next step in pregnancy - always. When I am not showing, I want to be showing, when I am 20 weeks, I want to be 21 weeks, etc. {If you are wondering, I get my inability to be patient from my dear Mother.}

...Back to it - Two days ago at school, I had a substitute for an aide in my classroom. My substitute, without hesitating, looked at me and said the daring question, "So, when are you due?" To which I happily responded, May 27th! What another EXCELLENT milestone.

19 weeks to go!!

New Mom Jitters??

I am half-way through pregnancy. 21 weeks. We are doing the fun things now, looking at baby bedding, nursery sets, BABY CLOTHES, etc. At times, I feel like this sweet little baby boy is going to bankrupt me! (Aren't baby boys supposed to be LESS expensive???)

Starting about two weeks ago, I could feel this little baby move regularly. My little boy kicked and squirmed, even swam (at least that is what it felt like) laps in my tummy. Then all the sudden, it stopped. Worrisome, of course! Common?? Absolutely. Did I hate it, and think about WHY my little man wasn't kicking me anymore? EVERY HOUR! But, no worries - we are back, and moving like crazy. This is my favorite part of pregnancy so far. :)

I love you Baby Peanut. I won't ask this often, but for now, please move and shake a lot! Only 19 weeks till I can hold you in my arms. I can't wait to meet my, {ney, OUR} little miracle.

It's a Boy!

Yesterday was our BIG appointment. The ultrasound appointment was perfect. PERFECT. The baby showed us his cute toes, feet, hands, tummy, everything. And, yes, everything was cute and perfect. No, I am partial.... yeah right.

Our tech went through each of the baby's organs, measured his head, legs, arms, heart, counted all four chamber's in his heart...made sure everything was there. Indeed everything was there...plus a sweet little boy-part! At times, our little Peanut was being a little bashful and not wanting to cooperate with the tech (oh, boy - he is already a stinker!); However, after she made me do a little wiggle, she got Peanut to comply with her requests.

I am such a proud momma. This little boy already has me wrapped around his finger. Cullen is such a happy daddy. I don't know if I was more excited that we are having a boy or that Cullen gets his little boy. Either way, our little family feels so complete just anticipating his arrival.

Below is my first Pregnancy Picture... contrary to previous thoughts, I would have imagined that I would have been great about taking these... nope. This is the fourth one in 20 weeks. I just don't look all that pregnant yet; I count my blessings now - for a smaller pregnancy frame, but more for my healthy, perfect little BOY!!