Peanut Is A Mover And A Shaker!

Oh this week has been so special. Christmas was outstanding. I have a tiny little belly and Peanut is moving regularly.

Let me rephrase that... I can FEEL Peanut move regularly. A few weeks ago, maybe two or three, I felt a tiny little pop in my tummy. I blamed it on gas. Two or three days later, while sleeping, I felt a couple more pops. In fact, it woke me up. I blamed this one on wild dreams. If you keep up with this blog, you know that is quite common for me.

This week, He/She has been moving and shaking. Peanut is a little dancer; I feel him/her almost everyday now. OH, it is so magical. When I am sitting down and baby starts moving, I stop everything and just feel the baby move. I look forward to the baby getting bigger and Cullen can feel Peanut move too.

I am so lucky to have such a great pregnancy. I am excited that I am getting to the point that Cullen can enjoy this pregnancy with me.

If you are keeping a countdown...goodness I am; We find out the gender of Peanut in 5 days!!

All I Want For Christmas Is....a Belly?

Christmas 2009 was incredible!! Peanut was so blessed with sweet stuffed animals, plush pillows, and sweet little picture frames (one of which brought me to tears!).



I sat on Santa's lap and asked him for Peanut to make his/her grand entrance into the world {via: a cute little belly}. Guess What? I was on the "good" list this year, because Santa filled my list. I have a tiny, unmistakable little baby bump. THANK YOU SANTA!

One of the running statements this year was, "Next year, Christmas is going to be very different!" So true. This year's Christmas was just outstanding. I don't know how it can be topped...I guess we have a year to wait and see. :)

Speaking of "wait and see"... T-minus EIGHT days until we find out what the gender of little Peanut is. I AM SO EXCITED, and slightly surprised that this last month has gone by so quick. At our November 15th appointment, I remember them telling me we would have to wait until January 4th to find out the sex of the baby. JANUARY 4TH??!?!?! That is light years away from now. Turns out, it is just around the corner.

Our moms are coming with us to the big appointment. I am so excited to share such a special moment with Cullen and our Mom's! Turns out, you are never too old to want your Mommy with you for the big moments in life!

Appointment Day!

I had a baby appointment today. Unlike my last appointment, I was calm, only asked a few questions (not a dozen), and got to hear our beautiful baby's heartbeat (without a nervous breakdown).

This appointment went swimmingly. It started with the weigh-in in which I had great results and ended with a heartbeat. A strong, loud, heartbeat. Halfway through the doctor listening to Peanut's heartbeat, we heard a LOUD thud; Doctor said, "Oh, your baby has a strong kick!!" Awe, our baby is already a superstar. That will make both of his/her grandpas very happy.

Here are the stats from this appointment:
How far along: 17 weeks.
Heartbeat: Around 150 beats per minute. Down from 160 beats per minute last appointment. Not good or bad, just different than last time.
Weight Gain: +3 lbs. Jackpot. I feel better than I ever have, in my life.

A final note to all my pregnant friends: At this appointment, the doctor asked me if I could feel the baby moving yet. I told her I THINK I have felt the baby twice. She said that was right where I should be with how far along I am. However, a little insiders trick... If you want to feel your baby, but are having a semi-difficult time, here is a sure-fire way:

Make sure you have a full bladder. Lay flat on your back, and rest either a heavy book or a kitchen put on your tummy. (don't worry, this will NOT squish your baby...yes I asked.) Between the full bladder pushing on the baby and the pressure from the book/pot, your baby will kick or punch at you to relieve the pressure. You will be able to feel the baby kick at you. :)

I tried it tonight. It didn't work yet. But, the bladder wasn't full and I was too impatient to sit still long enough to feel the baby. We'll try again tomorrow.

One final note: The BIG appointment is January 4th... anyone have a prediction?? I do; but I am keeping mine a secret!

Pregnancy Dreaming.

My good friend, Danielle, has blogged and told me about some VIVID dreams since she has been pregnant. Holy mother of dreaming, she is right! Not only am I having dreams that NO one should have, they are crystal clear and I can remember them for days. I have NEVER been able to remember my dreams past the two minutes after my alarm goes off and I get out of bed.

Now, good luck getting rid of these dreams. Here are the two recent:

1. A couple nights ago, I had a dream I went to the OB to have an ultrasound. It was a regular check-up. We were going to hear the heartbeat, ask questions and be on our way. For this appointment, she had to perform the sonogram on my back through my spine. (Weird, but okay.) We started the sonogram, she put that cold goop on my back and started to run the wand around to find the heartbeat. However, instead of finding the heartbeat, she was able to tell me (through pictures she was getting in her head from the sonogram)the sex of our baby. She turned the machine on where I could see the baby on the monitor and through the monitor, I was able to see Cullen's and my future. We had three children who were all playing TOGETHER (without arguing) around our pool... I woke up quickly, but I'm excited to see if my dream baby and my real baby are the same sex!

2. Last night's dream: I was in Dallas at Schlitterbahn (yes, Schlitterbahn had moved to Dallas. I was there with a group of people I went to high school with*. (weird #1: In high school, I didn't hang out with this group regularly). I had just left Cullen through a note, which read: "Dear Cullen, due to the unfortunate scene I have witnessed, I have no choice but to leave. Do not contact me, I cannot be persuaded." As I walked through Schlitterbahn, I contemplated life, marriage, and babies. I was so far away from achieving life, marriage, and babies (which I have to assume means Cullen and I were not happy, married, and expecting a baby). The rest of the details are fuzzy...but the walls on one of the rides told me that I would be married at 32 and I would have children by 38. Super.

Moral of the silly stories: I am so glad these are just dreams. Although I would love to be able to see my future, see how many kids we have and that they all get along, nothing makes me happier than where I am right now. Married. In love. Expecting a perfect little baby. I have the best family, and I couldn't ask for better in-laws.

I have to disagree with Cinderella; dreams are not a wish your heart makes when your fast asleep. My dreams come true every day.

*Mom, before you comment, I do realize I ended this sentence with a preposition...I couldn't figure out how to change the sentence for it to make sense. Let's let it slide this one time. :)

Songs Move Me

I don't know if it is that I am a product of this generation or if music just speaks to me...but, here is my latest: Taylor Swift's Best Days.

I appreciate the words in this song, party because I am an expecting momma and want these memories with my own, but also because this is exactly what my mom gave me.

Mom, listen to the lyrics. I truly "have the best days with you."

Trimester 2

What's been going on in the land of pregnancy??? Not much, friends and family. Not much. I am still not showing (which is fine). I am still not sick or feeling bad (which is great).

I wish I had more to report. However, I do have a ton to be looking forward to. We have two appointments coming up soon. The first, December 15th is just a regular check-up and the second is THE BIG APPOINTMENT. We find out what our little bundle of joy (who is as big as a large naval orange this week) is going to be!!

Baby's First Thanksgiving

Dear Peanut -

Your FIRST Thanksgiving is two days away and I am so *thankful* to be your mommy already. I am thankful that God trusts me to grow and raise you in our family.

However, one thing I am NOT thankful for is the LACK of a belly bump. You are so sweet to stay as tucked away in my tummy - but, I am very ready for you to be loud and proud and poking out of my belly.

Love, Your Mommy.

In September, when I found out we were pregnant, I thought about how wonderful Thanksgiving is going to be with my protruding little bump. Everyone (who wants) could rub my tummy like Buddha for good luck. The reality of the situation - everyone has to wait for Christmas.

Happy Thanksgiving little baby. Happy Thanksgiving world!!

Gender Prediction -

I have taken several (time-wasting) gender-predicting quizzes online recently... you know, just to really see what those old wives tales have to say. So far, every single one says I'm having a boy. That means one of two things: Either A) Cullen is going to be veeerrrrry happy with a little boy or B) Our little girl is starting her life defying all old wives tales (which makes me happy - she is a girl with her own mind, doesn't travel the road more frequently traveled.)

I had a doctor's appointment today. We heard our little Peanut. My OB said Peanut's heartbeat sounds strong and "just perfect." We find out January 4th what we are having. Will it be a boy or girl, we'll have to wait and see...let the count down begin!

One Trimester Down...Two To Go!

This week pushed me into my second trimester! (YAY!) Pregnant women have given me a ton of advise, wisdom and other tid-bits through my (so far) short and easy pregnancy. One of the most common tid-bits is that my feeling tired and exhausted will subside in the second trimester. Turns out, they are right. Since I found out we were expecting a sweet little bundle of joy, I have napped through my afternoons. I come home from school, fall asleep on the couch in the same spot, cuddled up with the dogs. I wake up long enough to cook Cullen dinner....then it is back of to sleepy land. All of the sudden this week - there was no desire to nap. It has been fabulous. I feel like I have my freedom back! :)

Now, if I could just get this bladder under control...


In other news, Cullen and I have another baby appointment this week! I am so excited, nervous, excited, back to nervous. :) I'll let you know.

Apparently... Pregnancy Makes You Emotional?

So, when I got engaged, I would hear songs on the radio that would make me smile. They would let me drift off to a dream world about how perfect marriage will be...

Not so much when I am pregnant. Every time I hear a song about a baby, I burst into tears. Yep, I am THAT girl. I am the girl you see driving down the road singing loudly, dancing - making a mess of herself in the car. I am the girl you secretly video tape and send into America's Funniest Video's for making an idiot of herself. Now, I am that girl who is driving down the road with TEARS streaming down my face.

Here is my current exapmle. No matter how many times I hear Carrie Underwood's "All American Girl", I burst into tears. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??

I love being pregnant. Seriously.

Oh Baby, Oh Baby!

It's official. We are out of the closet for good. This weekend, Cullen and I went to my hometown (Austin), for my sister's wedding. We also went home with an agenda. We were going to share the big news with the families. Friday night, the "rehearsal dinner", we told my sister the news, swore her to secrecy and went along our merry way. She told the kids, and Curt, and after my toast to her, she told everyone there. Surprise... the news is out. While I could have been sad about this... it was so sweet to see how excited she was for us. It is so heartwarming to have friends and family be so supportive and happy for you.

Saturday night, after the wedding, Courtney and Curt were off to Jamaica. While we were cleaning up, we told the rest of the family. They too were equally as excited. It was so perfect.

What an amazing weekend. I gained a brother-in-law, got my sister married, told our family the big news, and talked to my best friend for the first time in a week (my fault!)

Meet Peanut -

This is a way overdue post. I went to my first pre-natal appointment last Wednesday. (If you need a good laugh, ask Cullen the next time you see him about his interpretation of a woman's appointment. He didn't quite realize how "invasive" lady doctor visits can be) :)

I was so nervous all day. Although I had my pregnancy already confirmed by my doctor, it was completely unnerving to wait all day for my 3:30 appointment. Cullen and I arrived at the appointment, filled out SO MUCH PAPERWORK, and we met our doctor. I must say, I love her. I feel like I am going to be a very well taken care of pregnant lady - all the way through labor and delivery.

After a thorough physical from the doctor, she introduced us to our sweet little baby. Peanut is so perfect. I was right at 9 weeks at our doctor's appointment, and to my total shock, we could see the baby wiggle all around. I somewhat expected to see a black sac and a tiny white dot. (My dear friend Brittany is having a baby in March; we went to visit UNT two weekends ago, and asked her about her first sonogram. She showed us a picture of what her husband describes as a "grub worm". Since I am completely new to the sonogram thing, this is what I was expecting.) Instead, I got to see a head, a body, four limbs (nubs really), and a strong, fast heartbeat. I cried and cried and cried.

Oh, it was so magical. It was perfect. Without further ado... Here is our first picture of Peanut. (Call for an explanation... apparently very few can decipher through sonogram pictures! :) )

Another Weekend...More Secret Keeping

Cullen and I went to Denton this weekend for UNT homecoming. The weekend was outstanding. We saw a ton of old friends. Kappa had it's 20th year renunion - and I caught up with so many of my Kappa sisters. It was another weekend of keeping our secret.... It is getting so hard to keep our little secret. :)

Our big appointment is on Wednesday. I can't wait for that appointment. It will settle so many thoughts. I love you Peanut... I am so excited to meet you this week!

Waiting on Wednesday.

I remember going through the process of getting married. I remember doing a checklist of to-do's, followed by waiting periods of down time. I have discovered growing a Peanut is the same process. I have checked off so much:

Make Baby:(check)
Find out we're expecting:(check)
Tell Cullen the big news:Check)
Buy too many baby books:(Check)
Tell parents:(Check)
See Doctor to confirm pregnancy:(check)
Keep secret from the rest of the world.......(check)
...................................................................................................................................... Time to wait.

We go to the doctor this coming Wednesday, 10/21 for the first big appointment. I think we even get to see our little Peanut. I hate waiting. :)

How is this possible??

Peanut is 8 weeks and 1 day today. Cullen and I are already arguing about who is going to change diapers. Mr. Mills THINKS he is going to get out of diaper duty for some reason. Silly (soon-to-be) Daddy.

This regular disagreement between him and I got me researching... this is what I found:



I am fairly certain this is precisely what Cullen will look like during the first weeks of diaper duty. :)

We Peeped - We told our Parents.

We told my parents the news last weekend. We went home to tell my parents in person, and it was excellent. It was everything I had ever dreamed of when I dreamed of telling my parents.

Last night, we told Cullen's parents. It too was equally as perfect - in a completely different way. I was excited to tell my parents because it is MY first baby, but it isn't their first grand baby. (While I recognize I am their favorite child, it is hard to compete with Hayden and Brittany's adorable personalities.) I was excited to tell Cullen's parents because it is their first grand baby. We framed a baby invitation and got two onsies (One says: "What happens at grandmas, stays at grandmas." The other says: "I'm nuts about grandpa," It has a squirrel holding an acorn.)

When they opened their gift, it took about 3 seconds for them to look at us, and react. We all got a little teary. It was simply perfect. Peanut was the topic of conversation for dinner.

I am so excited for Nana and Papa (my parents) and Grandma and Grandpa Shot (Cullen's parents) to meet their sweet new little addition...only 7 more months. :)

Morning Sickness

It hit me. It hit me like a slap the face. It hit me so hard, I am thankful pregnancy is time-limited. VERY FEW people know I am pregnant at this point. My classroom aides and co-workers, ask me most mornings, “How are you feeling today?” Up to today, the answer has been the same. “Gosh, I feel great." Besides missing my monthly lady friend, I don't have any pregnancy symptoms.

I knew my days were numbered. I just knew it. About 1:30 today, I was sitting at my desk and BAM. It hits me. Nausea, Heartburn, Indigestion, Upset Stomach, Diarrhea. Yay, Morning Sickness. (Thank you Pepto Bismol, for your sweet little jingle!) There was a brief moment where I thought I was going to die. (No, I am not a drama queen.) I got home after school and laid down immediately. After an almost three hour nap, I was good to go. Yes, you read that right, three hours of nap time – this has turned out to be a daily occurrence.

I love you, Peanut. I keep telling myself, this will all be worth in. I KNOW IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT IN THE END. I am so excited to meet you already.

Weekend Wrap Up

This weekend was OUTSTANDING. We went to Austin to tell my BFF Kelly that Peanut is on the way and last minute decided this was the perfect weekend to tell my parents. We would be in town anyway; we want to tell them in person; and it is KILLING me slowly each day that I don't get to tell them! SO, we told them. It was perfect. Let's start with Kelly.

I went over to Kelly's house with Cullen. I originally told her I have a VERY small, perishable gift that couldn't be opened in front of anyone. We went into her old bedroom (Cullen, Kelly and I), I handed her our "Baby Invitation" and she gave me the exact reaction I was looking for. She first read it, looked at me and said "I'm confused. Then she re-read it, and screamed and burst into tears. Yep, I would call that successful. That is EXACTLY what I was looking for. Cheers to you, Aunt Kelly.

Secondly, we told my parents. Cullen and I had plans to go to dinner with my Mom and Dad, which turned into a big family dinner. (a side note: All along, Cullen and I decided to wait to tell anyone other than Parents until after Nov. 1st. That marks 12 weeks AND it is after Courtney and Curt's wedding. This time needs to be all about them - not my big news.) Our big news had to come before dinner... so, we left Kelly's early. We got to Mom and Dad's, opened Cullen's birthday gifts, then shared a gift with each of them. As I handed a gift to each of my parent's, I told them that we found a tiny little gift we just couldn't resist getting for them. They opened their gifts - it was a moment I have waited for for a long time. Dad said the perfect "John Stafford line" - Congratulations, Bud. I am proud of you." (Can you hear my dad saying it???). Mom smiled, gave us big hugs. It was so perfect.

What's the next big news?? Tell Billy and Carol. We will tell them this week, swear them to secrecy for a couple weeks, and be totally out of the closet after November 1st!

Two More Days.

My whole life seems like one count down after another. It starts as an idea, blooms into a list, and ends with a count down. Since I found out I was pregnant, ideas popped into my head about how I want to tell certain people in my life that we are expecting. One of the people I am MOST excited to tell is my dearest, oldest, bestest friend in the whole world. I see Kelly this weekend, and I am going to surprise her with a big announcement. Let the countdown continue: T minus two days! I told her this week on the phone that Cullen and I were going to hold off on kiddo's for a while (you know, throw her off a little). I will update on Monday and let you know how the big reveal goes. We haven't even told parents yet...We know it is most appropriate to tell parents the big news first but, there are just certain people you MUST tell in person. This is one. She is in town. Hooray for sharing baby news - it sure does make it seem more real.

On another exciting note - I go to the doctor for the first time tomorrow morning. YAY!

Baby's First Vacation.

This weekend, Cullen and I took off for a trip to DFW; It was for Cullen's birthday. - AND, it was Peanut's first vacation. The funnest part of the whole vacation: Secrets. We aren't out of the closet about our news yet. As people would ask the inevitable question, "So, when are you two going to have babies?" we would give one of two answers. If they asked me, they got: "Oh, maybe this time next year." OR if they asked Cullen, they got: "Man, I am holding out as long as I can!!" Later, we would grin at each other knowing our little itty bitty pint-sized secret!

I can't wait till we are out of the closet with our news. I can't wait to tell everyone about my sweet little Peanut.

I have a doctor's appointment on Friday. Cullen isn't going to this one... From what I have been told, they are going to make me pee in a cup, take my blood and ask me 500 questions about my past and future ailments. Hopefully, we will schedule our first ultrasound too!

The things you do for your baby....

All moms have said "I would do ANYTHING for my child". I found that hard to believe at times. Really....you would do ANYTHING for your child. riigghht..... Well, six weeks into pregnancy and I know the feeling. Due to some school situations, I told my Vice Principal at work that I am pregnant. She responded with - "Go get the flu shot." This could have been the worst news she could have given me. I hate shots. I hate needles. I hate the whole process. Literally, anxiety builds up inside me, I get sweaty, and I cry every time I need to get a shot. But, like a good mom, I will do anything for my child. I immediately went to the doctor, sat down and got a flu shot. Did I cry? Of course. Did I hate it? Did I sweat and wretch around like a two year-old? You bet. Have I been on my deathbed sick for two days - you got it! Was it worth it? Was it worth it to make Peanut safe from the flu?? It was worth every second of sickness, if it meant she/he was protected. Turns out it's true. Moms really will do anything for their child.

(You are welcome Peanut. Mommy loves you - so much she will get a shot.)

Peanut - Oh how you make me Pee!

I have speculated since long before I was pregnant that I would pee a lot. If you know me at all, you know that pre-pregnancy, I pee'd a lot! Now that I am pregnant ... sheesh! that is all I do! Whether I am imagining or if it is really true... I pee 4 times an hour, MINIMUM. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!??!? Peanut, ONLY because it is for you do I manage to deal with it...but, I am not sure that I can sanely do this for 9 whole months!

Eat, Sleep, DREAM Baby -

I had my first "baby" dream last night.

I have heard from a lot of pregnancy women that they dream about their baby; they meet their baby, their baby has a gender...so I knew this was not weird. I had a dream that I was 4 or 5 months pregnant and having a hard time sleeping. I spoke with my doctor (in my dream) and he told me that I MUST not sleep on my back, only on my side ( I think that is really true - pregnant mommas shouldn't sleep on their back???). Anyway, I woke up from my dream worried I was laying on my back... at this moment I can not recall if I was or wasn't but what I am sure of, is I when I woke up I hugged my body pillow so that I couldn't roll back over! :)

Is Shock A Normal Side Effect

...so, is it normal to be in total disbelief/shock about really being pregnant?? I have take 4 pregnancy tests, (all of which confirmed - Pregnant) and I still kinda don't believe it. We are planning how to tell everyone; I want to really surprise our parents. It will be grandbaby number 3 for my parents, and grandbaby number ONE for Carol and Billy. I am so excited to share our big news with our family and friends.

Dear Peanut -
Mommy and Daddy love you very much. I ask God to watch over you, and protect you while I carry you over the next 8 months.
Love you more than you will know,
Mommy and Daddy

...And, So It Begins!

It happened. We're pregnant. I am no longer me. I am now a "we". The Mills are not a party of two. We are a party of two plus a peanut. It happened. We're pregnant.

Around mid August, Cullen and I decided we are going to throw all precaution to the wind and leave it up to God. God is a funny man, because it took us six weeks from the time we decided to throw all precautions to the wind until I found out I was "with child".

Cullen and I celebrated our two year anniversary tonight and I gave him a James Avery ring for his gift. Along with his ring, I gave him an "I love Daddy" onesie, "What to Expect When You're Expecting (for Dad's), and an invitation to join me at the hospital around May 24th!

Peanut, even though you are only the size of a poppy seed, I love you bigger than the world is big. I have prayed for you for a very long time, and I am already excited to meet you. Peanut, me and your will think about you every day until we meet you.